Doggy Toys:

As I sat down to write this description I just remembered that girl that has two vaginas HAHAHAHA like how does she have sex or like put a tampon in there, which one does she pee out of or is it like it just comes out of both? Does she have two clits and like two whole things up there or does it eventually turn into one thing, like when she goes to the gynecologist which one do they put the thingy thing up to swab or like how does that fucking work? I’m just filled with questions that I feel like I never got the answer to, so I wish that I didn’t know it existed because I have just been riddled with all of these thoughts and feelings about her vagina and now I’m just hanging with no answers, her vagina is like the universe and I’m just trying so hard to understand it but I don’t have the answers and I keep asking God like, can you explain this to me? And then he doesn’t answer back because I’m supposed to figure it out myself but that takes so long and is so frustrating because I’m all like EXPLAIN THIS VAGINA TO ME and then I just have to think about it and try to reason it out and I just can’t okay I tried so hard and I just cant, there are too many things that just don’t add up and I’m having the worst time trying to get this off my brain. Anyways this video is about what a girls makeup means and all the wonders of being a girl and contouring your little cheekbones and shit until you look like a hot girl, or maybe making your skin look like different skin by piling liquid skin colored goo all over it and then creating a faux glowy dew all over your face with colors and doodoobutter and then you’re like, hey boys look at my face you want to make sex with it don’t you? Well you’re better off doing that than seeing my two vaginas and trying to figure that one out GOD WHY DO I KEEP COMING BACK TO THAT. Okay moving on. Then you put your hoochie lashes on and your cartoon eyebrows and all sorts of stuff that you didn’t even know existed like your hookery lipstick or like that dark one that Rihanna wears that looks so dope but because you’re a pale white girl with light eyes and light hair and light skin when you do it you look like the opposite of the sexual hotness that Rihanna looks like and look a lot more like Taylor Momson and then you like blame your parents for your bad childhood and have a string of bad relationships where the guy like beats you up and does drugs off of your butt and then you’re like, why did my life become this? What choices did I make that lead up to this point, and then you try to rationalize it but then you realize that if you just take that lipstick off you’ll be okay. So you take it off and put a pink one on and you’re like hey who wants their dick sucked!? But then you don’t really feel so much like that so you take that one off and put a red one on and you’re like, hey I’m not 50 so lets change this one, so you put a nude one on like Kim Kardashian and you’re like, why doesn’t this look good on me? Oh yeah it’s because it makes me look dead, you know like the opposite of health and vitality, I just do not have the skin tone to make this look right, so you take that one off and you put a peach one on but it makes your teeth look yellow because you like to drink red wine and coffee and stuff so your teeth aren’t this gleaming Sofia Vergara shit and you’re like, fuck you and your giant fake teeth Sofia Vergara stop being so delightfully hispanic and making me love you etc.! So then you just put some lip gloss on and you’re like, alright I guess this works. Then you get your eyeliner and smokey eye going and your mascara all over the place and you’re like I’m so hot can I get into the club now? And the guy working at the door says, no you have to go to the back of the line and then hopefully I don’t have to let you in because you have the crazy eyes and I don’t trust you, so you go back there and wait and think about how all your friends are inside and you can’t get in but hey at least I did my makeup. What? What is this? The Matrix? Get out of here apple.

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