Doggy Toys:

Two little rainbow mice sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g, first comes love then comes marriage then comes their parents and are all like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING GET OUT OF HERE YOU CAN’T BE FUCKING AROUND ON THE COUCH LIKE THAT and they both got in trouble and got grounded for like a month each, no tv no internet no phone and definitely no hanging around at twelve corners and getting pizza and shit after school, maybe stopping by that bread place because they give out free bread which is always good if you’re hungry and absolutely no going to the apothecary to get candy (and definitely not bubblegum because there’s tax on bubblegum and it says 10 cents so you think you have enough change and then the cashier is all like ha ha! Foiled you again young child, you owe me more money than you have in your pocket because you haven’t learned how to calculate taxes yet) and you certainly can’t ride bikes with your friends on the weekends or rollerblade in the church parking lot because you’re not allowed to do any of those things when you’re grounded. You should have though about the consequences of your actions before you tried to get away with them and guess what bucko, you got caught and now it’s time to be in trouble and be sad until you learn your lesson. Yes, this is the story of those girls on 16 and pregnant. Except instead of getting in trouble and then trying not to be a fuck up anymore they made a human baby out of their stomach and tried to raise it without ever learning that when your mom says you’re in trouble, she fucking means it. Seriously raise your hand if you are sometimes terrified of your mom. *Raises hand* homegirl put the fear of sweet baby jesus in me. Wait what are we doing here? This isn’t talk about your mom time? Oh, sorry. This video is about those Thanks Obama gifs that I laugh at for approximately 20 hours a day so I thought I would just make them into a video and they are far less funny than the gifs but I laughed a little bit. Yeah? No? Alright whatever I tried. If you put Kermit into a pyramid and then light shot out of the top of the pyramid do you think a cloud filled with sprinkles would rain on the pyramid and cure SARS? Me either. But I’ll tell you what I do know, that Michelle Obama. No, nothing else. That was the end of the sentence. PASTIES MADE OF PASTRIES NEED TO BE INVENTED. Busted ravioli.

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