Woah hey what are you doing here? Is this the Matrix? If so then I can just go ahead and check “owning a floor length leather jacket” off my bucket list. Sick. Anyways though, if I’m in the Matrix, then so are you, and I suppose that wouldn’t change the contents of our conversation (which is totally one sided at the moment, are you even going to say anything!? Gee golly gosh jellybean). But yeah this video is about that little moment that usually happens at some point when you are getting to know someone, at least in my experience, even if it’s a friend, that either turns you completely off from them or you decide that they are el chupacabra or whatever that word is. Hopefully you habla espanol or else we’re all in trouble because there are spiders in this banana field where our car broke down and if you don’t espeako the spanisho to that hombre over there WE WILL NEVER GET OUT AND THE SPIDERS ARE GOING TO EAT US! (that actually happened to me in Costa Rica when I was in like 7th grade, I digress). Some make or break relationship moments for me include finding out someone doesn’t floss their teeth, cut their toenails, have a baby koala farm, are a model… airplane, have two dicks, or perhaps three dicks, have two vaginas, or pee out of their belly button among other things. I’ve been getting a lot of smack talking about the quidditch comment and yes I do sort of agree, and you know I love me some Harry Potter like there is no tomorrow, but homie that shit is not a sport. Sorry. You run around on brooms and it is so weird. It’s a game, can we at least settle on that? Game, yes, sport, LOL FUCK NO. I am almost 1000% positive that your make or break relationship moments are different than mine, maybe a little more true to life, but hopefully this video makes you realize that they are in fact real moments. Maybe write them down in a diary so then you can laugh at all the funny ones when you’re old and have no idea where you are but you’re high off happy pills and everyone is super nice but you’re bored of playing scrabble that day because you already played like six games with Larry and you want another fun activity to do. You know, leave yourself some options. If a spaceship was made out of marshmallows, oh boy would you need a big graham cracker!
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