Get them get them get them! There there there! Where where where? Am I. HAHA ALIENS!

#furrychildren on twitter and instagram so i can see your real furry children or your new Kermie Worm and Mr. Marbles furry children when you get them. Or them all together. Or how your real furry children destroyed my furry children. Or just a quesadilla.

That’s where you adopt my little angel puppies, get yours for your friends, sister, cousin, brother, mother, uncle, dad, mom, grandma, grandpa, dog, your other dog, your neighbors dog, that italian greyhound that lives down the street, the chihuahua that looks like Mr. Marbles on instagram, mexican kitties, wildebeests, aunt, streetcar named desire, the person that drives your bus, your garbage man, the guy that brings your mail, that little kid that never shuts up on the airplane, your favorite taco maker, your boss, your daughter, your niece, your mouse, your drinking buddy, your coworker, your kid that’s totally not yours but you got served paternity papers and now you have to prove that you are NOT the father, Liam Hemsworth, Jerome, the person that sanded your table down, spiderman, the water boy, your lacrosse team, dinosaurs, bud light, your coconut lotion, that rug that sheds all over your house and you’re like, why did I even get this rug, the paper or plastic guy that puts your groceries in bags so nicely, much more nicely than you do when you offer to put them in yourself and help out and just be a helpful person but you are in fact not being helpful at all, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your transgender friend, your dick, your other dick, your third dick, hahhaha nobody has three dicks, that cheese you like, the person that sells shoes at the sporting goods store that always asks you if you need help but you never do because you’re a simple person with simple needs and sorry but I can already find the sock by myself and that’s all I came here for I wish I could break up your day a little better and give you something to do but I’m not gonna pretend I need shoes just so we can chat it up for a little because I actually have to go home and feed my cat after this HES REALLY HUNGRY ALL THE TIME OKAY DONT JUDGE HIM, your adopted 27 year old man son baby, your ex wife, your guitar, your shelf, your pita bread palace, the roll that holds your aluminum foil, your ice maker, your car tires, your snowblower, your kite, your kayak, your razor, or just about anyone else you could ever possibly think of, would probably love to get a Kermie Worm or Marbles toy so you should just get them one and feel so good on the inside. Or if you’re selfish like me you could just go and get them all and give them to yourself for your self party about self things and celebrate yourself for being so selfy and be like yaayyyyy look at all the doggies I have and now I’m covered in puppies, just like how my life is supposed to be. TITTTIEEEEEEESSSSSS ARE NOT THE SAME AS TAINTS! But they are the same as saints. Cacti uniform.

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