Woaaaah angel faced internet friends let me just tell you something, I got new internet the other day and my video uploaded faster than fucking butt lightning. BITCH FIST! Gingers only. I wanted to make this video to just double check that I’m not the only one that has some serious issues with going to sleep, I just cannot figure it out my sweet cupcake fairy. I get so distracted and never want to go to bed, like that little kid that you used to babysit and you were like, hey kid what the fuck it’s bed time, and they’re all like noooo we don’t want to go to bed we want to watch full house and america’s funniest home videos, and you’re like okay (because you want to be the cool babysitter and you’re almost 100% positive that that teddy bear sitting on the mantle does not have a wireless camera with which the parents are using to watch you) so you let them watch their shows and then they’re all like, waaaah we’re hungry, and you try to reason with them but let’s be serious, kids are unreasonable, so then you end up having to play tickle fight and carry them in their bed but then they’re like, Jenna read us a bed time story, so you do but I swear to god it’s like the longest fucking book ever, but after you’re done with that you finally think they’re going to go to sleep so you turn off their lights and go back downstairs and they come running back down all giggling and stuff and you’re like, hey guys, I really don’t give a shit if you go to bed or not but your parents are paying me to follow their nazi rules and make you get in bed at like 6pm so I gotta do what I gotta do here you’re really putting me in a difficult spot, so then they get the sense that you’re pretty serious and finally go to bed for real. I am those children. Every night. Forever. The end. Some highlights of this video include my inability to be a real adult. Hey who’s excited for thanksgiving? I may or may not be cooking a giant turkey so if you want to come over and share with me that would be fantastic we can tell each other knock knock jokes until we pass out from tryptophan (it’s the amino acid in turkey that makes you sleepy, not drugs. Jeeze.) Manatees invented Starbucks and sold it Bill Gates who turned it into a Boys and Girls Club. True story.
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