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Wat wat wat what wat what wat what what what wat are yams?? No really doe what are yams? Are they a thing or are they just a make believe thing because they’re not real to me they are make believe. What are you doing for thanksgiving friend are you going to watch some Tom Hanks movies for T.Hanks giving or what? Because my plans are to waked up, slowly but nicely and say OOOOOOOH happy morning kermit would you like a little kiss, and that’s his cue to stretch his weird body all out over my chest and casually turn his head to me and give me really sweet little morning puppy kisses, either that or I wake up at 4am to WAAAAA WAAAAHHH WAAAHHHH I WANT TO GO OUTSIDE BECAUSE IM KERMIT AND IM 3 YEARS OLD BUT I STILL DONT KNOW HOW TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AT APPROPRIATE TIMES EVERYONE NEEDS TO GET ON MY SCHEDULE WHICH IS WHENEVER THE DICK I WANT WAHHHHH so it’s totally a toss up as to which one might happen but fingers crossed I get the sweet little kisses version, then Marbles gets all jealous and he waves his hands on his head demanding some pets and kisses and nuzzles his little head in between everything and says heeyyyyy what about meeee look how handsome I a mmmm except I imagine he does it in this like very masculine spanish accent like the dos equis man or like Antonia Banderas mmmmmm MMMMMM DUDE REMEMBER HOW HOT ANTONIO BANDERAS WAS holy dick I just remembered about him from like Zoro and Original Sin uhhhh get it on me now now now meow is what cats do when they want your chicken and if you don’t give them any chicken they jump up on your counter top and demand it from in front of your face because they have no fucking boundaries and rules don’t apply to them, anyways back to my thanksgiving day, then I’m going to get up and stretch and walk around and be like I waaaaakeddd upppp yayyy I’m in my jammmiesss and then I’m going to wait around until dinner time which apparently as a society we have collectively decided is like 3pm on thanksgiving, unlike all 364 other days of the year when we eat at regular fucking people time, it’s like we all progress to 84 years of age on thanksgiving day and demand to eat as early as possible, and then I’m going to fall the dick asleep, kiss my dogs again, and then wake the dick up and eat my dick off some more. Because AMERICA.
Also, dear Canada, didn’t you guys have your thanksgiving too? Sorry for not wishing you a happy thanksgiving but I don’t know what the hell is going on. Love Jenna.
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